The Truth About Google’s Algorithm: Why SEO Is Bullshit

seo sucks

I said it. Search engine optimization (SEO), a practice held up for many years as a great way to get your page on the top of Google’s search results is (mostly) a bullshit practice nowadays. Most people in the SEO field are as clueless about Google’s algorithm as psychics are about electromagnetism.

Oh, The Blasphemy!

I know that I’m going to have a bounty on my head for saying this, but… For the most part, SEO is much like feng shui – a whole lot of work going on, a bunch of fancy diplomas, and an enormous pile of pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Note, however, that I use the word “mostly.” That’s because there are some decent SEOs out there who aren’t trying to rip you off. You’ll have to sift through the pile of crap, though, to try to find one worth half a malnourished cow’s ass.

Why Do I Hate SEO?

I don’t necessarily ‘hate’ SEO. I just hate it when people rip others off. Here’s my reasoning:

  • Google’s algorithm is sealed tight. While someone can perfectly explain the mechanisms behind Google’s PageRank system with a straight face, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get good results from using that person’s SEO service. PageRank is just one measure of a site’s viability in Google’s eyes. The real PageRank mechanism (the one that changes your rank day-to-day) is hidden deep in Google’s basement.
  • Google’s algorithm changes more often than a baby shits its diapers. Have a look at how many changes it’s done in 2012. And that’s nothing compared to the adjustments Google makes on a daily basis. Meh.
  • Google doesn’t like people who focus too much on SEO. Case in point. Google wants you to make stuff that will benefit the people using its search engine (duh!). It’s a company and it has a reputation to uphold. Google isn’t a playground. If you could get your website to the top of Google’s search results with a few gimmicky tricks, then the blog posts you see on the Web that don’t flood their articles with keywords wouldn’t even hit the first page. They apparently do.

Ergo, SEO is bullshit.

I mean it…

No, seriously….

If you don’t like what I just said, you can rebuke by leaving a comment (I’ll leave it there, I promise!). Seriously, leave a comment. I have your IP and I know where you live, so just type the damn thing and get it over with.

The Tech Guy

Miguel has been working with computers back when the latest processor could print "Hello World" on the screen a couple of times and everyone was going nuts about that. From the days of DOS to the days of 'dows, he's been exploring every minute detail about computers, banging his head against the keyboard until he got it. Now he's blogging about it on his dedicated server until it breaks down, he repairs it, and just keeps on blogging.

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11 Responses to The Truth About Google’s Algorithm: Why SEO Is Bullshit

  1. Mike says:

    As an SEO I have to defend it here. I’m not saying I disagree with you (we certainly do not know how exactly Google’s algorithm works), but I think you’re not looking at the whole picture. There are certain things an SEO can do to make a website more searchable (keyword analysis, back link profile, title and description tags just to name a few). If a site lacks all of these things for a particular search term they are not going to show up in the search results. Incorporating these things will increase visibility, and if the content is good and people enjoy the usability and experience they will keep coming back. This will in tern lead to higher rankings.

    I personally don’t believe SEO is bullshit, because I’ve seen it work. But at the same time there are people out there selling snake oil and offering these services at inflated prices, but same goes for almost any industry where the results are difficult to truly measure.

    • The Tech Guy says:

      I am so, so sorry it took me this long to approve your comment. Didn’t even notice it.

      I would have to agree with you, since there are some things about SEO that make sites more search-friendly. After all, as much as search algorithms try to be “human”, they live by certain rules we must abide by. My rant was mostly focused on SEOs that try to game the system and ultimately fail spectacularly as Google and other search engines update their algorithms.

      Thank you for your reply!

  2. Gonzo David says:

    SEO is such a big fuss when all it really is is marketing taking on the online world. No need for fancy codes, bullshits and all.. You just need to write very engaging contents and try not to lie to google and you will be on top driving traffic. Even an elementary student can do proper SEO given the right amount of training. Experts and all their stuffs are just made up. They are living in a fantasy. Get real people.

  3. Dorcus says:

    It’s interesting that you phrase it as “don’t like people getting ripped off.” Which is, essentially, what SEO customers want to do to the internet. They want to “cheat” the system in a way that gets them to the top of a search engine whether or not their website is any good or remotely relevant. I mean you could argue WHO they’re ripping off, google for getting free advertisement or customers for stealing their time and bandwidth loading a useless site, or other people with actually relevant, good sites that would be pushed off the main page by all the SEO customers.

    But no matter how you slice it, it’s would-be scammers getting scammed, to be honest it’s just kind of funny and sad.

    • miguel_gomez says:

      It makes a lot of sense, yes. But remember that many SEO customers don’t have the slightest idea of what the SEOs are trying to do. They don’t understand that they’re trying to game the system.

      • Chong Klot Wan Dam says:

        Your “about the author” bio is absolutely cringeworthy. It’s sounds like an SEO guy trying to convince people he’s a “tech guy”.

        • The Tech Guy says:

          You sound like an awesome person. Thanks for your mindful and creative contribution to the internet. Your purpose has been fulfilled. Return home. Your wife and kids are basement is waiting for you.

  4. humpity says:

    So true. SEO took off because of data-farming, It’s spread to courses and certificates, into one of the most successful legit scams this decade. An SEO Analyst gets paid more than a genuine Forensic DNA Analyst. An all of that without having to know how to write a line of code !

    • Gonzo David says:

      I agree on your comment. Since when did SEO became so important that they are earning more than Forensics right? I mean, is that all that matters to the world now? Being number 1 on Google Searches? I think these guys needs to have their brains checked. Setting up conventions and all..

  5. […] previously wrote about why SEO is bullshit, so I thought, “If no one shot me until now, I guess that’s a green light for me to […]

  6. MatriX says:

    Never laughed so much in my life lol

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