The Truth About Google’s Algorithm: Why SEO Is Bullshit

I said it. Search engine optimization (SEO), a practice held up for many years as a great way to get your page on the top of Google’s search results is (mostly) a bullshit practice nowadays. Most people in the SEO field are as clueless about Google’s algorithm as psychics are about electromagnetism.

Oh, The Blasphemy!

I know that I’m going to have a bounty on my head for saying this, but… For the most part, SEO is much like feng shui – a whole lot of work going on, a bunch of fancy diplomas, and an enormous pile of pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Note, however, that I use the word “mostly.” That’s because there are some decent SEOs out there who aren’t trying to rip you off. You’ll have to sift through the pile of crap, though, to try to find one worth half a malnourished cow’s ass.

Why Do I Hate SEO?

I don’t necessarily ‘hate’ SEO. I just hate it when people rip others off. Here’s my reasoning:

  • Google’s algorithm is sealed tight. While someone can perfectly explain the mechanisms behind Google’s PageRank system with a straight face, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get good results from using that person’s SEO service. PageRank is just one measure of a site’s viability in Google’s eyes. The real PageRank mechanism (the one that changes your rank day-to-day) is hidden deep in Google’s basement.
  • Google’s algorithm changes more often than a baby shits its diapers. Have a look at how many changes it’s done in 2012. And that’s nothing compared to the adjustments Google makes on a daily basis. Meh.
  • Google doesn’t like people who focus too much on SEO. Case in point. Google wants you to make stuff that will benefit the people using its search engine (duh!). It’s a company and it has a reputation to uphold. Google isn’t a playground. If you could get your website to the top of Google’s search results with a few gimmicky tricks, then the blog posts you see on the Web that don’t flood their articles with keywords wouldn’t even hit the first page. They apparently do.

Ergo, SEO is bullshit.

I mean it…

No, seriously….

If you don’t like what I just said, you can rebuke by leaving a comment (I’ll leave it there, I promise!). Seriously, leave a comment. I have your IP and I know where you live, so just type the damn thing and get it over with.


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