The Truth About Google’s Algorithm: Why SEO Is Bullshit

I said it. Search engine optimization (SEO), a practice held up for many years as a great way to get your page on the top of Google’s search results is (mostly) a bullshit practice nowadays. Most people in the SEO field are as clueless about Google’s algorithm as psychics are about electromagnetism.

Oh, The Blasphemy!

I know that I’m going to have a bounty on my head for saying this, but… For the most part, SEO is much like feng shui – a whole lot of work going on, a bunch of fancy diplomas, and an enormous pile of pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Note, however, that I use the word “mostly.” That’s because there are some decent SEOs out there who aren’t trying to rip you off. You’ll have to sift through the pile of crap, though, to try to find one worth half a malnourished cow’s ass.

Why Do I Hate SEO?

I don’t necessarily ‘hate’ SEO. I just hate it when people rip others off. Here’s my reasoning:

  • Google’s algorithm is sealed tight. While someone can perfectly explain the mechanisms behind Google’s PageRank system with a straight face, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get good results from using that person’s SEO service. PageRank is just one measure of a site’s viability in Google’s eyes. The real PageRank mechanism (the one that changes your rank day-to-day) is hidden deep in Google’s basement.
  • Google’s algorithm changes more often than a baby shits its diapers. Have a look at how many changes it’s done in 2012. And that’s nothing compared to the adjustments Google makes on a daily basis. Meh.
  • Google doesn’t like people who focus too much on SEO. Case in point. Google wants you to make stuff that will benefit the people using its search engine (duh!). It’s a company and it has a reputation to uphold. Google isn’t a playground. If you could get your website to the top of Google’s search results with a few gimmicky tricks, then the blog posts you see on the Web that don’t flood their articles with keywords wouldn’t even hit the first page. They apparently do.

Ergo, SEO is bullshit.

I mean it…

No, seriously….

If you don’t like what I just said, you can rebuke by leaving a comment (I’ll leave it there, I promise!). Seriously, leave a comment. I have your IP and I know where you live, so just type the damn thing and get it over with.

  • Gonzo David

    SEO is such a big fuss when all it really is is marketing taking on the online world. No need for fancy codes, bullshits and all.. You just need to write very engaging contents and try not to lie to google and you will be on top driving traffic. Even an elementary student can do proper SEO given the right amount of training. Experts and all their stuffs are just made up. They are living in a fantasy. Get real people.

  • Dorcus

    It’s interesting that you phrase it as “don’t like people getting ripped off.” Which is, essentially, what SEO customers want to do to the internet. They want to “cheat” the system in a way that gets them to the top of a search engine whether or not their website is any good or remotely relevant. I mean you could argue WHO they’re ripping off, google for getting free advertisement or customers for stealing their time and bandwidth loading a useless site, or other people with actually relevant, good sites that would be pushed off the main page by all the SEO customers.

    But no matter how you slice it, it’s would-be scammers getting scammed, to be honest it’s just kind of funny and sad.

    • miguel_gomez

      It makes a lot of sense, yes. But remember that many SEO customers don’t have the slightest idea of what the SEOs are trying to do. They don’t understand that they’re trying to game the system.

  • humpity

    So true. SEO took off because of data-farming, It’s spread to courses and certificates, into one of the most successful legit scams this decade. An SEO Analyst gets paid more than a genuine Forensic DNA Analyst. An all of that without having to know how to write a line of code !

    • Gonzo David

      I agree on your comment. Since when did SEO became so important that they are earning more than Forensics right? I mean, is that all that matters to the world now? Being number 1 on Google Searches? I think these guys needs to have their brains checked. Setting up conventions and all..

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  • MatriX

    Never laughed so much in my life lol